best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize