I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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