I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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