I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
