She is in my trunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize