I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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