Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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