I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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