Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
