i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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