My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dignity is for republicans.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
