i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
