the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
love makes seman taste better
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
