I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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