I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
