I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
