i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What a dumb baby whore.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
