I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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