i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
