i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
