I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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