remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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