I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can I color on your dick again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
