I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
