her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
