She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
