I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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