We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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