TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
