Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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