after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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