you guys were way drunker than both of me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
