Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
