u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
