we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
whose parrot is this?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
