Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
