the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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