So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
