I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
