You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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