But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
