We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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