bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
