may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
