i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
