she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
