i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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