cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
