ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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