STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
