if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
