no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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