I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
