I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She needs sedatives and a leash
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
