so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
