did you get engaged???
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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