Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
