woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
