Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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