$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize