I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
